FF: A Blue Moon Ago - Chapter 14

They stood staring at each other. Time held no meaning. There was nobody in this world but them. Nobody else held any significance. He was looking as wonderful as always in his white tracks and white sleeveless vest. 

He is beautiful. 

She is beautiful. 

I've missed him. 

I've missed her. 

It all happened ages ago. 

It all happened a blue moon ago. 

I don't want to talk to you. 

I'm not leaving without talking to you. 

I hate you so much. You hurt me. 

I still love you. I thought you hurt me. I ended up hurting both of us. 

You're going to be sorry. 

I am sorry. 

I'll never forgive you. 

Please forgive me. 

They just stood looking at each other. They didn't realize when people passed by or what was happening. Angad wanted to talk to her and found that he couldn't find the right words. Is this what love did to a man? he asked himself. No, not love; but when he betrayed the woman he loved, then a man couldn't quite find the right words to explain himself. 

'How've you been Kripa?' He finally broke the silence. And cursed himself. Is that the best he could do? He was always witty, what happened to him? He was always good at starting conversations, how lame could he get? 

Kripa eyed him curiously after breaking from her trance. 'I've been well. You don't look too bad yourself.' She ached to touch him. She ached to tell him how good he looked. She also ached to slap him. 

He saw that her face remained expressionless. So she had managed to change that about herself. A decade ago, he was able to figure out her emotions without her saying anything. Not anymore. A decade was a very long time. He sighed. This was going to be more difficult than he had expected. 

'What are you doing here?' he managed to ask her. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he fumbling with words? 

She gave him one of her quick smiles and his stomach did a somersault. Her quick smiles had always driven him crazy. They came out of the blue and were very genuine. It was as if she had just shared a private joke. 

'I was one of the doctors who operated on your mother. She's doing well, isn't she? I'm so glad she's getting better.' She looked at him as he did not reply. 

'So you knew I was here? Anyways, thank you so much for my mother. I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to her. I owe you one.' You owe me a lot Angad, you owe me a lot. Before that thought completed forming in her mind, she saw the emotional look on his face that showed how deep he was in with his mother. Her heart softened. She wouldn't let that happen, she thought close to a panic. She wouldn't let her heart soften. She'd become even more vulnerable to him than she already was. She couldn't allow that again. She hardened her heart again with great difficulty. She reminded herself why she nearly detested him. She wouldn't allow him to take advantage of her weakness. 

'Yes Angad. I knew you were here. It's really sweet of you to pass by and ask me how I was. Now just go away. Somebody must be waiting for you. You're wasting their time. I'm a doctor and I need to get back.' Since when did she dimiss somebody like that? She had never dismissed him before. 

'You were not like this a decade ago.' He muttered under his breath. Why did he have to change the things that were happening that blue moon ago? Why did his ego always come in-between their relationship? She was always the one to pacify things between themselves. This time it would be him. Long ago, she would take the blame for his wrong-doings. Now he was growing up. He was learning how to accept responsibility. 

'Because you had not hurt me a decade ago,' she whispered to herself. She didn't mean for that to come out aloud. She needed to control her tongue. She was slipping things without realizing it. She was slipping her emotions that way. 

'If you're done talking, I'd like to leave Angad. I have a lot of things to do. You're wasting my time. Have a good day and I really hope that she gets well soon.' With that she turned. He couldn't just let it go like that, he thought. This was not the confrontation he was wishing for or hoping for. He grabbed her hand and realized instantaneously the mistake he made. She whirled around her face flushed with anger. 

'Don't you dare put your filthy hands on me, Khanna. What was between me and you was a long time back. Nobody gave you permission to put your hands on me. Just go to other women, you're probably just breaking their hearts. Just go find a slut; she'll suit you the best. But who knows how you'll treat her all the same?' She was so furious that she hadn't realized what she was saying; she hadn't realized that she was almost screaming at him. She became furious with herself. She wouldn't show him how much she ached; how much he had hurt her. When the meaning of her words penetrated in her brain, she stood there mortified. No matter how close she was to detesting him, she had no right to say that. She had no right to insult him that bad. 

He was getting mad at her. How could she talk to him like that? How could they have grown so distant? It's been your fault all along, he reminded himself. She has all the rights to say all she wants. He calmed himself down. 

She just stomped to her cabin. Angad stood there watching her. He made a decision and followed her. Kripa went to her desk and folded her hands. Her back was facing the door and she didn't see Angad standing near the door. She stood there staring at her hands thinking about their confrontation. Her back was slumped and she looked completely dejected. It hurt Angad to think that he was the reason for that posture; he was the reason for all the unhappiness in her life. 

'Kripa.' His voice broke as he said her name. He wanted to break down. He wanted to be held by her. He wanted to be comforted by her. 

Kripa heard the catch in his voice. She almost went to him to soothe his hurt away. He was hurting. She didn't know the reason but he was hurting. No, I will not be the latest woman in his list to fall for him again. I made the mistake once and I'm not going to repeat it. I have more sense than that, she thought. 'You don't understand it when I say I don't want to talk to you, do you?' 

'I just want to say a few things Kripa. Then you can decide what you want to do with me. Please give me a chance. Just one chance.' He wanted her arms around him. He wanted her to soothe him. He also knew that his wants were impossible at that time. 

Kripa wanted to slap him very hard for making her go through this again. She didn't want to feel miserable again because of him. She wouldn't let that happen. 

'Angad, please leave me alone. I don't want my husband to come here and see you talking to me. Leave me and my family alone. Don't even think of splitting is because we have a kid, too. None of your dirty tricks are going to work.' 

Hearing that, his world shattered.